I tried. I still try. Really, really hard. Nonetheless, everytime I’m into improving my writing skills, reality bites: For me, it’s impossible to compose a delicate, filthy, serious, arousing story about sadomasochistic relationship, behaviour or lifestyle using German language. It. Just. Doesn’t. Work.
Problem is: Most of the commonly used terms and definitions have an utterly gruesome German translation. For example:
‘… Slowly, steadily, she pushed the plug into my ass …’ (strong expression, precise)
translates to
‘… Langsam, stetig, schob Sie mir den Analstöpsel [!] in den Arsch …’ (I think English native speakers don’t realize just how silly the German word ‘Analstöpsel’ is)
And when you start mixing languages, things get really arkward:
‘… Langsam, stetig, schob Sie mir den Plug in den Arsch …’
I don’t get it. Sadomasochism isn’t some sort of ‘English phenomenon’, isn’t it? It’s practiced worldwide. So why is it so hard to express such situations without ridiculing them?
Another path that can be taken is to use poetic or bombastic diction. But – here again – a huge problem arises: The more you use overblown words and phrases, the more filthiness is eliminated. And let’s be honest: Sadomasochism really IS a filthy issue.
So, what to do? Switch to English and limit yourself to your knowledge of a foreign language (and the doubtful skills of Google Translator)? Or stay with German using English terms when needed, feeling that little itch everytime you have to?
As it seems, I will have to push my writing skills even further. Maybe someday, I WILL be able to write that delicate, filthy yet serious sadomasochistic story – Auf Deutsch.
